You know people are stupid when they’re wrongly told that humans only use 10% of their brain and the rest of the population goes “yea that seems about right”. Shit, I feel like I’m running on 210% a lot of the time. What with breathing, talking, working, guessing what’s in people’s heads, understanding what’s in mine… That’s not the half of it, it’s exhausting. Every moment feels like it needs to be swiftly followed by nap time. I’m going at double speed, I can actually feel the neurotransmitters jumping synapse after synapse. It’s the fucking Autobahn up there and my consciousness is the nervous driver in the right-hand lane staying at a steady 60.
When I stop it feels like that time of the day coming back from nursery school with my circumstantially imposed ‘brother’, moving the sofa forward so it’s only feet away from the TV, and settling down with a Malted Milk and a glass of the good stuff to watch cartoons. That was some real peace. I’m pretty sure I was only using 10% then, the rest hadn’t formed yet. The 90% that definitely decayed somewhat even before approaching my teen years and eventually mutated into the highway of hell.
10% could be good though. As long as it’s not the 10% controlling my tinnitus and snow vision. That shit’s started to get on my nerves since I realised it’s not the average way humans process information. Everyday you learn something new, just sometimes you wish you hadn’t. Now I wonder what things actually look like without this shit speckledy screen that defies description. Whites, yellows, blues, pinks, this visual white noise creating constant disco time in my eyes. And that fucking ringing, ringing, ringing like after you’ve smacked your head too hard on concrete (am I actually hearing my brain working? Gah! It’s so fucking incessant).
The two bastards double-teaming me like I’m a joke, but I guess I should just be grateful I can both see and hear, even if it’s fucking annoying.